Sorry, wrong blog

what do you say alanis, is it or isn't it?

2009-07-30T22:01:00.000-07:00

our dog ate our entire catnip plant.

as soon as i finished this i thought of the word 'fine'

2009-06-30T19:48:00.000-07:00

so it isn't exactly the half-way point of the year. frankly, i have no idea what the exact half-way point is, for all i know this is actually the exact half-way point, i mean, february is a short month after all. anyway, it is time for a little progress report on my new year's resolutions. i know you all (read: joe and maybe casey) have been DYING to know how things have progressed. i would

if a tree falls on your honda odyssey and no one's around to hear...

2009-04-29T19:18:00.001-07:00

if they stopped making minivans would people just find a different type of car to universally drive badly?

nacho majority party

2009-02-24T14:08:00.000-08:00

what do the republicans not get? when the country elected barack obama they also made a choice about the direction they wanted the country to go. it's not like we all got confused and thought we were voting for american idol and the way we want the country run is wide open. obama ran on a very specific platform: helping the middle class, transparency, accountability, green jobs, stimulus

ok honestly

2009-02-23T17:38:00.000-08:00

i want to be a mac. of course i want to be a mac. don't get me wrong, i love john hodgeman but macs are slick looking and they make a really nice clacky noise when you type on them. i love all the random programs that i don't really use and the ones that i do use (stickies!). i like that it has a matching mp3 player and a matching phone. what can i say, i like when things come in sets. and

nobody puts baby in a corner

2009-02-23T17:35:00.000-08:00

"it's a midwestern thing...I don't think we can control it" William Fisherfrom the gmail chat identity of baby throckmorton.how true it is.

townspeople, townspeople, a wolf is attacking my sheep!

2009-01-29T22:33:00.000-08:00

when the republicans voted down the financial bailout on it's first run through the house of representatives, despite all of that party's conviction that it's immediate passage was crucial to the survival of our country's entire economic framework, house minority (ha ha, you're the minority) leader john boehner (ha ha, looks like boner) knew exactly whose fault it was the republicans didn't pass

resolution revolution

2009-01-06T11:20:00.000-08:00

well it is a new year. time to change our lives. time to decide that this is the year we become everything we have ever said we want to be and secretly think we want to be. i was listening to the radio yesterday and there was a woman on giving advice that doesn't really need to be given about picking realistic goals for the new year (as if we are all confused about WHY our resolutions fail. i

what can i say, i'm a libra

2008-12-19T11:16:00.000-08:00

i am of two minds on the choice of rick warren to lead the invocation at obama's inauguration. this is terribly convenient for me because there are 2 mindsets to have: it is a good idea or it is a bad idea. i choose both.warren has been very vocal against gay marriage and oft offensive, not to mention illogical, in his comparisons of it to incest and polygamy and pedophilia. he was an

another one bites the dust

2008-12-09T13:38:00.000-08:00

here's the thing about the latest political scandal. and when i say latest i really mean literally the latest because maybe i am just paying closer attention, but it seems like there is a 'scandal of the day' as of late. every time i turn around someone is being forced to resign or indited or unseated in shame and i know that politics is supposed to be corrupt but what good is corruption if it

let's get literal

2008-11-17T12:59:00.000-08:00

so it is destroying marriage, is that right? people wanting to get married is destroying it - do i follow you so far? and the reason that gay marriage is so destructive is that the bible defines marriage as between a man in a woman so anything that goes against that is destructive and wrong. have i got it so far? okay, so i can't help but wonder:how much time do you spend trying to stop people

who ya gonna call?

2008-11-10T10:12:00.000-08:00

a couple weeks ago, in the middle of the night between sunday and monday, our shower door spontaneously combusted. one of the 2 sliding glass doors just exploded safety glass all over our bathroom; in the bathtub, covering the bath mat, in every container and out into the hall. everywhere. it was so bizarre. i had to take everything out of everything; i completely emptied the bathroom.

seriously

2008-11-09T21:47:00.000-08:00

hey remote- i do not want to have to ask you again. where are you? it's almost more about principal now than convenience. well, honestly, it is also a lot about convenience. both, really.

love thy neighbor as thyself (good news neighbor, i LOVE me)

2008-11-07T14:55:00.000-08:00

dear people who supported prop 8,despite the elation i felt on tuesday as we elected obama as our president (by a landslide) it was a bittersweet victory because in the same breath california (by a slim margin) took away the rights of our citizens. basic rights, so basic that it falls under the umbrella of life (spent with your partner), liberty (to marry the person you choose) and the pursuit

biden should ditch the thumbs up for the cabbage patch

2008-11-05T12:26:00.000-08:00

first of all, this is cracking me up. second of all this is what every car that drove down our street in oakland last night was doing. it was like new year's only this actually matters and affects our lives. third of all, i said i would apologize to america if obama was right and he was so... i am sorry and i am proud of you, of us. we are not the red states and the blues states, we are the

something strange is happening in the town of stepford

2008-11-03T20:57:00.000-08:00

for the last 5 weeks i have been convincing myself that each episode is the season finale. it was the return of the aftershow. i thought "oh this nonsense is back, talking me through the commercials, must be the season finale". then it wasn't so i thought "must be the episode before the finale". nope. then i decided it was some big lead-up to the finale. now i half think it's that and i

just decide already

2008-11-03T20:37:00.001-08:00

these undecided voters. what is their deal? how on earth can someone still be undecided, it's ridiculous. the two candidates could not be more different; it is both literally and figuratively black and white. i will tell you what i think about the undecideds. they are not going to vote. if it is the day before the election and you do not know if you are going to vote for the tall, black,

more-bama

2008-10-30T11:05:00.000-07:00

can this guy get more inspirational? every time he opens his mouth the right words come out. i feel like we are all used to politicians that sound too good to be true but it's different this time. this man has been consistent and uncompromised in his message and in his campaign. i remember back in the primaries thinking to myself "you have to attack more, you have to play their game to win!"

open letter to rush limbaugh

2008-10-29T17:33:00.000-07:00

dear rush limbaugh,why are you suck a dick? i find it very off-putting. i wonder how you go home at night and sleep with your day's activities on your conscience. i find it hard to comprehend how you look at yourself in the mirror every morning, not exclusively because you have to look upon your doughy, sour countenance, but also because you are forced to confront yourself and the fact that

when i think about this show, i don't think of anything negative whatsoever

2008-10-29T17:01:00.000-07:00

well that isn't true. in fact, my feelings about the the hills aren't even that lukewarm and non-committal. but then again, i am not an enormous douche-bag who would be caught dead in a sleeveless denim vest.i have 5 things to say about this week's episode of the hills:1. brody and lauren are definitely together. seriously this is not just wishful thinking, i have gathered the evidence and i

well, my friends, i know my history lessons

2008-10-22T21:39:00.000-07:00

there is at least one phrase from the mccain stump that rings true: "they say those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them." unfortunately not all representatives of his campaign seem to have gotten the memo.there has been a lot of pro-america versus anti-america talk coming at us these days from our favorite angry mob inciter gov. palin and a slew of other repubs

damn it

2008-10-22T21:01:00.000-07:00

where is our remote control? i am sick of standing up every time i need to adjust the volume. it was okay for a while but now i am over it. dear remote control,where are you? show yourself. regards,bridget

ebony & ivory vs. elderly & ivory: energy

2008-10-22T13:02:00.000-07:00

here are the candidates on the issues. drawing from the debates and the campaigns and various news sources i want to talk about the issues facing the country and where the candidates stand on them. i had been toying with the idea of just attacking the character of the 2 candidates until things got really ugly and i was leaning that way for a while but let's give this a whirl.i'm gonna be a

it's literally night and day

2008-10-20T11:33:00.000-07:00

i hate it when people say "it's literally something" when it is not literal. literally night and day is literally nighttime and daytime. what is literally yes and no? obama versus mccain.obama: yes we canmccain: nobama

it's so bizarre and unnatural, but it... it happens

2008-10-19T21:24:00.000-07:00

we saw michael and holly's first fight and then last week we have the ex rearing her head; that's a lot of relationship drama for something that isn't a relationship. the office is throwing a baby shower and michael takes a seat on holly's trash can to talk about his concerns for jan's feelings in the terminal stages of her pregnancy. long story short, jan's fat and holly's pretty so he will be

i'm a mac

2008-10-19T21:09:00.000-07:00

and a very lucky girl. for my 29th b-day my dad bought gave me my very first laptop. it technically isn't my first computer although it effectively is because what would be considered my first computer was the desktop my parents got me for college which i rarely used, mostly because it was constantly not working, and felt no particular attachment to whatsoever. not to mention the fact that the

keith olbermann is piiiiiiiiissed

2008-10-16T17:58:00.000-07:00

if you are still in doubt that mccain has been weaselly and downright despicable when it comes to conducting his campaign and the tone that it has taken, you don't have to take my word for it:

road rage on the straight talk express

2008-10-16T13:19:00.000-07:00

well mccain blew it. not that i was rooting for him to turn it around nor did i believe he had a shot in hell of doing so but he didn't have to sputter and spit and eye-roll and finger quote his way so far down into the crapper that even joe the plumber would have a tough time getting him out. but that is what he did, all the while speaking to the conservative base and not to the moderate

ha ha jokey time

2008-10-16T12:06:00.000-07:00

mccain needed a real game changer in the debates last night. hopefully he can change the game to golf where the lowest score wins.paraphrased from stephen colbertthe colbert report

now, fly! fly!

2008-10-15T17:00:00.001-07:00

it's exhausting, being this vigilent

2008-10-14T21:49:00.000-07:00

last thurday's episode continued the classic office feel that has been re infused this season. so much so, in fact, that by the end of the episode i felt like "that's it? nothing happened". but that is just in contrast with season 4's plot pushing character developing big happenings and the action packed 8-weeks-of-summer premiere. in reality last week's episode could have slipped right in

berfday

2008-10-13T12:29:00.000-07:00

i'm 29 now, you guys. my birthday was on saturday and we went to aptos for the weekend with joe's parents and a few friends. there was something for everyone: capitola's endless candy selection for amy, bar-be-que for steve, push-ups contest for sean, stuff to throw for asheke... a cornucopia of activities and treats to delight one and all. and the icing on the cake? literally it was a rich

zoot suit riot

2008-10-13T11:50:00.000-07:00

she IS the church lady.look at her purple suit!well, isn't that special....

montag in the middle

2008-10-09T13:32:00.000-07:00

we can't always be blogging about inspirational feminist heroes. sometimes we just have to talk about the hills. but before we delve into that can i ask one question? wtf? where was the new gossip girl last trash t.v. monday? they were going to yale, blair was going to throw a shoe, chuck had a bag over his head, it was going to awesome. q'est-ce que c'est? i will not lie, i was a little

here you go, america

2008-10-09T10:24:00.000-07:00

if america is looking for a strong and empowered female leader; a woman who serves as a role model and who is inspirational in her achievements and in the example that she sets as a person for all of us, not just women; a woman you can respect and aspire to, then we have another option. between you and me, i don't have a lot of respect for governor palin and i certainly don't think that she is a

can you feel the love tonight?

2008-10-07T13:43:00.000-07:00

seriously, mccain looks sublime as he breaths in presidential mojo from the cowboy president (not to be confused with a maverick president. that would be totally different). the juxtaposition of these photos comes courtesy of linus ingoldsby (yes, that is his real name and yes, you should be jealous cause yes, that is the most awesome name ever). the questions come courtesy of me. and the photos

yay! more! more! more!

2008-10-07T13:36:00.000-07:00

take your daughter to work day

2008-10-06T13:25:00.000-07:00

and i have to say that wittle sawah pawin is really picking up on what daddy does at work all day quite quickly. smear, smear, lie, smear and above all else, NEVER say anything specific. just remember these few key words and phrases:"when i am sitting around the kitchen table""shore up the economy""the umbrella of job creation""guys and gals" or alternatively "joe six-packs and hockey moms""up

just like seinfeld

2008-10-03T12:19:00.000-07:00

it's funny because it is true.

captain's blog stardate 2.10.2008

2008-10-02T16:22:00.000-07:00

there are two main ruling parties in the world of the uber geeks: the trekkie and the renaissance nerd. sure there is the comic book nerd but these days you get way too much hipster credit for being into comics so their position in the geek world is not as strong as it once was. this leaves the trekkies and the renaissance nerds to duke it out for top dog.i am sure one could argue the merits of

that's how he rolls

2008-09-30T22:14:00.000-07:00

i saw an amazing advertisement for mccain the other day. first of all the lighting and editing were ridiculous. it was kind of 80's, it was like they were trying to be edgy. voiced over quick shots are spliced up with john mccain, looking tres sincere, talking about how great the american worker is: "best in the world". and economic security "has been put at risk by the greed of wallstreet".

observations

2008-09-30T20:27:00.000-07:00

me: obama looks very presidential.neil: mccain looks like a short-circuiting robot.

if palin promises to keep being an idiot, do you promise to continue making these sketches?

2008-09-30T18:57:00.001-07:00

carl 1, carl 2, rockley rob, spare rib, doobie, lunch box, boner champ (that's him), pubie lewis and the news, hopscotch, jingle jangle, and sandwich

2008-09-30T18:27:00.000-07:00

the indiscretion with the cake behind them, everyone buckles down and gets serious about the party. kelly swallows a tapeworm that creed sells to her “that wasn’t a tapeworm”. this is the hardest thing andy has ever had to do in his life and at least he has the “self-awareness”(?) to admit he hasn’t “had a very hard life”. can i take a moment here to say that the andy talking heads alone in

you have to agree with me!

2008-09-27T22:18:00.000-07:00

thursday's episode of the office was a return to form. written by the emmy nominated gene stupnitsky and lee eisenberg, it was a first in the show's history: we saw the 8 weeks of summer as dunder mifflin scranton participated in a company wide weight loss competition. it picked up pretty much where we left off in may.casey texted me "i'm watching it now. eastern time bitch!" at 6.10. at 6.18 "

the office 5.1 - weight loss

2008-09-26T15:48:00.000-07:00

nobody puts baby in a corner

2008-09-26T14:28:00.000-07:00

"i am always cold. i can't wait for menopause."-baby throckmorton

tgif. am i right?

2008-09-26T12:27:00.001-07:00

this morning there was a woman literally going 35 mph on the highway. what is that about?i have to say, as much as it vexes me to drive so much every day, commuting has made me a far more skilled driver. now i think i am kind of a badass. this was not always the case. at all. kate likes to tell stories about how crappy a driver i was in high school. i just used to space out all the time.

this just in

2008-09-25T19:21:00.000-07:00

apparently steve miller is working on 3 blues albums. you know what gives me the blues? steve miller's music.

btw

2008-09-25T12:49:00.000-07:00

jerell was robbed.

nailed it!

2008-09-25T11:43:00.001-07:00

john stewart is america's greatest cultural asset. bold times call for bold statements.it's true though. his analysis of the current political climate and critiques of the media circus are so spot on and he presents it in this way of like if dad humor was REALLY funny. last night he was talking about sarah palin and her elusive meetings with foreign leaders (were any of her buddies from russia

ye olde morning commute

2008-09-24T13:18:00.000-07:00

how do i love thee? oh wait, i don't. love thee. at all.today there was a pretty intense looking accident on 880 going in the other direction. but it also caused a lot of traffic in my direction as everyone had to slow down and check it out. this is a fact not even worth bitching about because it is just such a given, everyone is going to look at the crazy accident, always. forever.so a

this is amazing

2008-09-23T17:20:00.001-07:00

sarah palin gives me nightmares

2008-09-23T16:47:00.002-07:00

go here and vote no. if you feel inclined to vote yes, immediately call your doctor and have your brain examined. http://www.pbs.org/now/polls/poll-435.html

sound the trumpets, strumpets

2008-09-23T14:17:00.000-07:00

it was trashy t.v. monday y'all. gossip girl and the hills. that's right, i watch these shows and before you sit in judgment let me tell you something: these shows are really good. now, before i move on to talk about how i finally decided to give in to the o.c. reloaded, let me ask one question about the hills please - when are brody and lauren going to admit that they love each other? lauren

the path of least resistance

2008-09-22T16:11:00.000-07:00

i am like an 80 year old. not in all respects of course but there is definitely an overlap. i like large sunglasses, i hate it when people speed in residential neighborhoods, i like knitting and i could watch antiques roadshow for HOURS. i also am slow to embrace new technologies. its true. i definitely heard about youtube from one of my dad's friends, i finally have a dvr (which, btw, is